Bad choice — lesson (2 level)

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Dear Dr. Tracy, am a 33 year old

divorced woman with four kids. I was married for 12 years and I have been divorced for
approximately 3 years. I
met my new boyfriend during my divorce. We
hit it off and have been
together ever since. He is a 44 year old divorced man. When I met him he had been divorced for 2 years. Well, I met his ex-wife and she seemed to be an okay person. What I found out 3 months into my relationship with him was that he was
fooling around with his ex-wife again— who also at this time had a boyfriend of her own(Санта-Барбара:))))).
I figured that since I did not have a
committed relationship with him,
I had no place to say anything. The problem is it
continued further into our relationship, up to the point when
I found out
I was pregnant. At the same time I found out that he and his ex-wife
planned to go to his family
reunion together. Of course before all of this, I drove by his house one night and saw her car
parked outside his home. The excuse I got after all of this was that they were
considering getting back together.
I thought it was very funny that
as soon as she met me, she found interest in him again.
I guess my issue is the fact that now I am still in this relationship.
I have brought a child into this
nonsense and I hate the fact that he keeps in contact with her. My boyfriend has
taken responsibility for her son from a
previous relationship. His excuse for having so much contact with his ex-wife is because of that boy. I know this is not
true but I have no
real proof otherwise. I have also
dealt with him
taking women to hotels and
my gut tells me it was her, but he promises it was not her.
I have
to get over all the
cheating. I know that she is very close to his family and I also know that his family does not like me because
I stand up for myself. I guess
the bottom line is
knowing how much contact his ex-wife has with him and the fact that he knows
I can’t stand her. Am
weird relationship with a man that
wants to have his cake and eat it too? Or am
I being paranoid and
need to trust him when he says he does not want her. I have never had so much
animosity towards two people in my life. I do love this man, but I feel like
I have put myself back in an
unhealthy relationship with a man that is trying
to lie to me.
To be
totally honest, now that I have his child I even hate the fact that he helps her son. She never has to ask for anything
regarding that boy, but I have to
constantly remind him when our son needs something. He does it for the other boy
without thinking, but my son is a second thought even when I have said, — Look at your son. He is in
dire need. I was married to a
cheating man and
hooked up with another cheating man.
I wonder if it’s just my
bad choices in men.

Рассказ (1 аудио)

I guess my issue


I have brought


taken responsibility


taking women to hotels


real proof otherwise


to get over



the bottom line


fooling around with


committed relationship


mini story for bad choices (2 аудио)

David Beckham is a man- who wants to have his cake and eat it too.

he wants to be a famous movie star and a famous football player, so he moves to Hollywood, he hooks up with Tom Cruise

they hit it off, immediately

David Beckham says — the bottom line is that I want to be a movie star just like you. Tom can you help me

Tom says — of course, my gut tells me you will be a big success in Hollywood

Tom introduces backs to a director who is very powerful



the director makes a movie with Beckham, but it’s a terrible movie, everybody hates it and they hate Beckham

the public feels a powerful animosity towards Beckham

they can’t stand him, they yell at him, they throw things at him Beckham can’t deal with the public animosity

throw things

he is a guy who is very sensitive, he become scared

he is a guy, who is very sensitive

he become scared

he feels this is a dire situation, Beckham is so scared, he won’t leave his house

he keeps the windows closed and the doors locked. he becomes paranoid

he won’t leave the house even to play soccer


finally his team manager calls and says this is a situation which is unacceptable



you’re fired Beckham cries

he has no job and nobody can stand him


okay, let’s go back to the top this time with questions

does Beckham want two things? but really he can only have one, yes, that’s the exact meaning of to have his cake and eat it too.


what two things does he want? well, he wants to be a soccer player and a movie star

he wants both but actually, he must choose he can only be one either: a movie star or a soccer player

he doesn’t have enough time or talent, or skill to do both, but he wants both, he wants to have his cake and eat it too


does Beckham went to have his cake and eat it too by being rich and good-looking?
well, no, actually no, it’s possible to be rich and good-looking, that’s okay you can look good you can be Handsome and Rich

handsome (man)

you don’t need to choose between those two things, so that’s not the problem

choose between those


he wants to have his cake and eat it too because he wants to be a famous soccer player and be a famous actor at the same time and this is not possible

does he hook up with Julia Roberts? no it doesn’t hook up with Julia Roberts

does he hook up with the Spice Girls? well in the past he hooked up with one of the Spice Girls

now this is a different meaning — of hooked up — is he dating Tom Cruise

they met, they got together but it be hooked up with one of the Spice Girls and that means yeah he’s dating her

he’s married to her now, etcetera, so he hooked up with Tom Cruise and they hit it off immediately


did Tom hate David? no. no. no, they hit it off immediately, they liked each other immediately

he likes Beckham because Beckham is cool and he looks good, so he hit it off with David Beckham

so, they liked each other and Beckham said- the bottom line Tom, is that I want to be a movie star just like you

what is Beckham’s final point? is most important point, well the most important thing, he wants is to be a movie star just like Tom Cruise

is the bottom line that Beckham wants money? no, no that’s not the bottom line the money, is not the most important thing for Beckham

right, now, what is the bottom line for David Beckham? the bottom line is he wants to be a famous movie star

that’s his bottom line, that’s his main point, is final point, is most important Point


what is Tom Cruise’s bottom line? oh, maybe Tom Cruise’s bottom line — is Scientology, his religion that’s his bottom line

he wants to get David to join Scientology, to join his religion — that’s Tom’s Secret bottom line?

does Tom know definitely 100%, that Beckham will succeed? no, no, no, no he doesn’t know, not in his brain, not in his mind



his gut tells him, that he will be a big success

he has a feeling right a feeling in his stomach, he has a deep feeling,- that Beckham will be successful, but he doesn’t really know, he’s not sure

his stomach

deep feeling

but he doesn’t really know he’s not sure, he just has a strong feeling, his gut tells him that Beckham will be a big success in Hollywood

what does Tom’s got tell him? Tom’s got tells him, that Beckham will be a big success in Hollywood as an actor

is that doesn’t tell him, that he’ll be a big success as a soccer player maybe he won’t be, but his gut tells him, that he’ll be a big success in Hollywood

powerful animosity towards Beckham

does the public like David Beckham? no, they feel animosity towards him

who feels animosity towards Beckham? well, the public, the American public feels animosity towards Beckham

does Tom Cruise feel animosity towards Beckham? I don’t know, Tom still like David Beckham

can Beckham handle the animosity, the bad feeling? no he can’t handle it


he can’t survive it

he can’t keep trying, when everybody yells at him

if his soccer coach becomes angry Beckham can deal with it? he can deal with it, no problem

he can’t deal with the public hatred

he becomes scared, he feels this is a dire situation

does he think this is a dangerous and difficult and scary situation?


does he feel like it’s a risky situation?

but his movie career has a dire situation

he’s paranoid he thinks everybody wants to hurt him

does he think Tom Cruise wants to hurt him? yes, he does he thinks that even Tom Cruise wants to hurt him

he paranoid about his wife? yes he is he thinks his wife also hates him

he think that everyone in the world wants to hurt him

his team manager calls and says Beckham — this is a situation which is unacceptable. you’re fired. Beckham loses his job and his movie career